I was raised in a military family and we didn't have much money growing up. Our Christmas's were far from grand and we hardly got what we "wanted" usely what we "needed". When I got married and started having kids I knew I wanted my kids to have these GRAND Christmas's. Every Christmas being one they would NEVER forget. Well that hasn't happened! I cant even remember what the boys got last year. Let alone expect them too! By no means are my boys spoiled, as a matter of fact they have had "friends" come over and say some hurtful things about how little they actually have and when the boys ask "why does this person have a playstation 3?" or "My friends mom bought them the new DS 3D before Christmas" I joking tell them " That is because their parents obviously love them more than I Love you! Right!?" sometimes I get the " RIGHT!" however most of the time they will reply with something like "MOM you love us!" "Your right I do!SO much that I don't have to buy you things for you to know that.. You obviously know it without a playstation 3 or a DS before Christmas"
I buy my boys things only 3 times a year. Back to School, Christmas and their Birthday's. I try with each to show them just how blessed they are with what they have. Back to School we donated filled back packs to kiddos in need, at Christmas we volunteer at the Mission as well as "adopt" children and we try to be as involved as possible in different community events, and their Birthday's they select a charity and collect items for it instead of gifts from their FRIENDS (they still get things from us). If during the year they have a want... They earn it! Yes the old fashion way. Not the go wash my car and I will give you $10...HA! Go wash my car and you get a $1 way. I see more and more kids these day with that sense of entitlement. Just because your parents have money does NOT mean you are entitled to it. My children's generation is the work less expect more generation. I refuse to let that be my boys... See they are only boys for just a little while, they will be men most their lives. Men that will be proving for themselves as well as their own families. Men that I hope grow up to be like their dad in the sense that he would do anything to provide for his family. He doesn't think anyone owes him anything. He never asks for anything. His mama raised him right, he cooks, he cleans, he provides and doesn't NORMALLY complain.
Back to how Christmas is changing here. This year the boys and I talked how we wanted to blessed families this year. They decided they wanted to "adopt" a child through Open Arm Ministry. It's base is in Mexico and is a pretty cool ministry. They each wanted to pick their own kid. I explain to them that to each have their own child to adopt was a lot of money and that may mean they each will get less this year for themselves. My oldest Dean was the first to say " I'm IN! That's OK..I don't need anything this year" the other 2 were on board too... YIKES! how do I say No to that! We took home 4 kids Christmas stars (One for each of the older boys and one for the babies to share...Totally their idea) As soon as we left church they wanted to know everything... HOW OLD IS MY BOY? WHAT'S HIS NAME? WHAT GRADE IS HE IN?... Their Christmas stars are placed on their tiny tree in the dining room and checked almost daily. They refer to the star like they are truly real people... HEY WHERE IS DANNY? MOM! Did Beau run off with Danny AGAIN?!? Its sweet to see that they are not just a face on a star... They get it! They really GET IT! Those are real children with true needs! That otherwise wouldn't get anything without my precious boys. I know Christmas not about the gifts the child will receive but Christ love my boys just showed to a prefect stranger. How they unselfishly without a second thought give up something. Just as Christ did for us. I thought a lot about my boys and how I pray their hearts stay soft like that forever. Its hard in this world where so much is put on what you have. I could buy my boys so much more than what they have BUT why?? so they can want more? So they can slowly become other children who want and want and want and put their own wants in front of others NEEDS. Nah! I think I will pass. We are also helping out a local family in need and will be involved in a few other things. Super excited to watch how they get filled with joy from sharing with others.
Last night I was sitting on the couch writing a note to Luca's teacher and Dean came up next to me and started to snuggle up to me. Sounds sweet.. I was actually a bit annoyed I was trying to write a note in my prettiest handwriting and he kept bumping me. I turned to him and said (Insert MOM voice..No not sweet mom.. you are driving me crazy voice) "Dean! Seriously! Do you need something? Can you stop until I am done!? Cant you see I am writing something?" Tears start to fill his eyes and he said " I am sorry Mom it can wait." (still in MOM voice because I was annoyed that now he was crying) No Dean What? Why are you crying? What is SO important you need to cry over it?" He pulled $5 from behind his back and "Here I want you to have this. You work hard for us and you love us and I wanted to show you I love you too!" (insert I am the worst mom of the year voice) "Dean I am so sorry I have been so busy and still have so much to do that I didn't take the chance to just stop to show you love back...Truth is Dean I don't need the $5 to show that you love and appreciate me.. You just did by giving ME your time!" YIKES did I mess that UP! The note totally could of waited. Lots of things I WANTED to get done can wait. I needed to just stop and give my tween age boy that still wants to love on his mama my time and love back.
I decided this Christmas I wont go overboard on Christmas out of guilt that I don't give my boys STUFF all year long. They are obviously just fine without that STUFF. I am going to give them my time..The time it takes me to MAKE them gifts, my time one on one doing thing they enjoy (that can be torture for me sometimes because I hate to sit still and they love to play Lego's and you have to sit still mom games) and time to listen to what they truly need. Yes I have bought my boys some pretty cool gifts but instead of giving them EVERY one of the gifts I bought I am going to donate some and leave some in the attic for another time. My boys showed me this past weekend that they don't need that stuff and they will be just fine without all that STUFF under the tree. I have found some pretty neat fun ways to share my time with the boys and present it in gift form. I am excited for the boys to open them up. My joy cup overflows with knowing they won't mind one bit that this Christmas won't be like others.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! :)
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