There's always room for more and MORE!

I am a confused Christmas FREAK! I L-O-V-E everything about it.  The sights, sounds and smells.  The chaos, friends, the family and the SURPRISE!  The Thursday night before Christmas we eagerly awaiting the Polk's to get here.  They were coming with little Oliver! Washing sheets, prepping rooms, making lists and checking them twice!  All the kids were tucked in bed by the time the Polk's made it here (My 5 plus we got the extra surprise of HANNAH! Just the start of this seasons surprises)  After late night cuddles with Oliver we were off to bed for a fun filled day tomorrow!

We spent the morning in our jammies catching up, cuddling and cooing over Oliver.
When my older brother Neal is here there never a second where he isn't trying to make me cry or dare me to do something for $20!  This time was no different.  He dared me to drink goats milk but not just any goats milk! It was this thick yogurt goats milk that smelt rancid! With all the boys watching I was going to show them One taste on my tongue and I am OUT!  NO freaking way I will swallow any of that!..Dean pipes up with I'll do it for $20!  Fine I pass the torch to you dear child!  GROSS he did it!  I was gagging watching him!  EWW! Boys are G R O S S

 Lunch time and we all got ready to celebrate a early Christmas with Nana and Papa.  The wrapping paper flying begins!  The "Thank you, you didn't have to do that  No seriously you REALLY shouldn't have" gifts were opened we decide a trip to the mall to see Santa then some dinner was a great idea!  Yes I said the Friday before Christmas going to the mall with 6 Adults and 6 kids to see Santa was a GREAT idea for family bonding.  We loaded into three cars and made our way to the mall.  The second we pulled into the mall I thought "who's stupid idea was this anyways?!?"  oh that's right MINE..GEZZ! who lets me be in charge!... My husband pulled to the front of the mall to drop me off so I could go stand in line to see Santa and with train of cars following him he went to find the one and only parking spot in the mall.  I rushed through the food court avoiding all the sample and made my way to the center of the mall to see SANTA!  Thank God the line isn't THAT long.  I ask the last guy in line "Is this the end of the line?" he said but your going to have to ask them if you can get in line"  What is this some kind of mother may I game?!? NOT FUNNY !... The young worker said "Santa is closed he is going on break"  Me: "WHAT? Santa is going on break?! I thought he worked 24 hrs a day the days before Christmas!" To which the young guy who couldn't even crack a smile said " Yes Break he is closed from 5pm-6pm"  PERFECT! its only 4:05! Where do I stand in line? Now the older grumpy elf (I am assuming she isn't thrilled that she was born into a life of elfhood by the I hate my job look on her face) says.  Ma'am there is no way Santa can see all these people already here in a hour so we have to cap the line... (I am sure Santa knows a thing about capping! he is probably going to get drunk just so he can deal with his attitude filled elves!) I tried begging to get in that line, making funny Santa jokes, getting irritated nope those elves were budging.... NO SANTA FOR YOU!   I quickly called everyone from the group NO ONES ANSWERING!  Finally I get a hold of my mom and practically scream DON'T GET ANYONE OUT OF THE CAR!  SANTA IS LEAVING! I REPEAT DON'T GET THE KIDS OUT OF THE CAR!  Oh ok sweetie! I will tell them.... Just then my husband called to say we are heading towards the Food court! UGH! NO DON'T SANTA IS UNION AND NEEDS A BREAK!  To late!  I quickly ask around DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THERE IS ANOTHER SANTA?  I NEED ANOTHER SANTA LOCATION STAT!  To which one sweet lady in line says.. Well Santa was at the Thursday night main street event last night...He was a good Santa too! REALLY! LADY! How the heck is that going to help me?  Are you trying to win mother of the year for taking your kids to see all the Santa's in the county?!  GREAT YOU WIN!  NOW where can I see Santa NOW TODAY!?  I need Santa right this minute my boys are getting closer...I need a detour! By now there was a crowd of ticked off parents because the sign says Santa goes to feed his reindeer's from 5-6pm NOT 4-6pm... Cant we form another line for 6pm?! NOPE not till 5:30.  I turned to the grumpy old elf and said Do you know if the old mall has a Santa this year? How about the Outlets?  To which she finally cracked a smile to say.. No.. The closest one is Exeter and I bet he is closed already..NICE thanks!  I pushed my way through sad kids and mad parents to go get my boys.  We meet up just so I could break the news,  Santa has a drinking problem and... KIDDING!  I came up with some story about how Santa has to check his reindeer blah blah! we are leaving the mall and going to dinner... Santa will have to wait until tomorrow.. Broken hearted we headed back to the car.. Across town we drove to have dinner as a family.  The rest of the night was a blur of food, laughs, and noise.  We said our good-byes to Nana and Papa and made our way home.. Baths and bed time for everyone didn't come soon enough.   After all were asleep Suzanne and I decorated the Kitchen table for a surprise Christmas eve morning good-bye  breakfast from the elf on the shelf... That elf sure out did himself with the fun table setting :)  Christmas day 1 DOWN~!  Just two more to go!

Christmas eve morning I tried to sneak out of the house before everyone woke up to get 7 miles in.  Getting out of the house before EVERYONE was up SUCCESS! Getting 7 miles in UNSUCCESSFUL!  By mile 2 I could feel the cold I had for over 2 weeks really kicking in.   I was fatigued to say the least, I decided I would push through.. We stopped along the way at Lowes for a potty and water break...That was scary as I stood backing looking at myself  in the mirror I realized the cold was getting the best of me.. I wasn't going to give up..at least not without a fight.  We started back out on the road, my chest was getting tight, i was sweating like a pig (maybe a fever nikki?!), and I just felt weak.  Since I started running I havent had a "ugly" run.. I have had plenty of WOW that was hard runs  but none as ugly as this.   4 miles in I decide this was stupid.  I was sick and should be at home in bed.  I broke from the group to make the 1.5 miles back to my car.  I thought about walking back but I was already beating myself up for not finishing the whole 7 miles.  I stumbled back to the parking lot with a total of  5.53 miles in under a hour..Not bad for being sick... I headed home to shower and start prepping Breakfast by now I am sure the boys found the surprise.

 Before I could even make it to the door the boys were screaming MOMMY LOOK WHAT THE ELF DID!!  LOOK!! I was excited that they were so excited! I showered quickly and started in on the reindeer pancakes.  In the midst of all the cooking and screaming my sister in law Kris called... Nikki can we Skype? ummm SURE why not! then she could see the craziness going on and maybe the boys could calm down talking to her... Neal and I tried to figure out how to skype from any of our devices and we were having no luck... I heard out in the living room.. GRANNY AND PAPA are here... I didn't pay any attention since just yesterday Luca yelled JESUS is in our backyard Beau LOOK it's JESUS! I continued on with trying to figure out skype... Soon I looked around and the kids and Hubby were gone.. The bacon burning in the pan, I looked around the corner of the kitchen to the front door to yell at Skip for burning the bacon when I saw everyone crowed around the door and My in laws standing there....WOAH! Granny and Papa were really here... Why is this a WOAH.. We'll you see Granny and Papa live in MINNESOTA! Not a drive down the coast line but a we flew across the US trip.   What a special treat.  SURPISED AGAIN! In the almost 13 years we have been together we have never had them here for Christmas!  Hugs, tears, and lots of  love we made our way back to the kitchen for a even better SURPRISE breakfast.. MAN that Elf  is GOOD!  way to make a exit buddy! 



 We ate and got ready to head to see Santa! We got to the mall just in time to see Santa leave on break again! This time it was ok, they allowed us to line up.  We broke off  into groups.  I stayed in line with Oliver, Dad took the toddlers to the play area, and the older boys broke off  with granny/auntie/ and uncle.  It got close to Santa coming back and everyone made their way back to the line, I started prepping my camera so I could take my own pictures with my own camera for $5!  But it sure beat the starting price of $22 if Santa's helper took your picture. (Thats how Santa gets gifts for all the kids by over charging their parents for priceless memories and a picture with him)  We were next in line and I informed the grumpy elf we were back and were going to take several poses with my camera.. 1) picture of just the baby  2) of all the kids and Oliver 3) just my boys 4) of everyone... and her reply was Ok you ca try but Santa doesn't like it when people use THOSE kinds of cameras (Nikon D40) Well Santa can just get over it! because I don't like it when he closes the line an hour before his break time!..  Santa was actually really nice about the many pose changes.. I think its mostly because we formed a plan before we got to him and shocked and awe him with  all the ids adults and requested...We took all our pictures and started to walk away and he said WAIT! you didn't tell me what you wanted for Christmas! Oh yeah! that's right Santa! Thank you! ..... Santa didn't seem to mind all the chaos one bit... THANKS MALL SANTA!

 All 11 of us got ready to head to Christmas eve candle light service.  We made it ON TIME!  The boys had helped me make some goodies bags to hand out to the kids since it was a family service, the boys started in right away with handing out their baggies to each kid.  After service started Pastor Joel made sure everyone had candles...YES even the kids(insert mini panic attack) THANK goodness no fire!...YET! As he started to share how one light can spread he called his adorable boys up to light their candles then share their flames. THEN......he called ALL the kids up front to light their candles and walk around with them and light the adults candles (insert MAJOR panic attack) I was in the back of the church with the toddlers I couldn't go up there with them.   I watch as they made their ways to the front.  I was praying that Ethan didn't try to caught something or someone on fire! I chased Wesley to the front and as I grabbed him I looked up to see three of the sweetest boys carefully lighting others candles.  Proud mommy moment! I stood there holding a wiggling 2 year old watching as one by one my boys helped spread their lights for Christ.  I couldn't help but get watery eyed seeing how the room lite up by the smallest of lights.  After all lights were lite, parents breathed a sigh of relief, and kids were sited, I looked down our row of 11 and felt very blessed. I have 5 healthy boys, an amazing husband, the special gift of sharing Christmas with my in laws, a precious new nephew, and a wonderful brother and sister in law who make the 5 hour drive to our house every year (a couple times a year).  Thank you Jesus for blessing me more than I deserve. You are our reason for the season.

 It is our tradition to do a MASSIVE wrapping on Christmas eve.   Suzanne and I spend hours wrapping while the guys assemble gifts.  Its actually LOTS of fun!  Tons of laughs.  I like it this way... There is nothing exciting about looking at wrapped gifts for weeks under a tree or stacked in a office some where.. So we MASSIVE wrap!! This Christmas eve, we wrapped, assembled and I finished crafting my gifts.  I wrote about how Christmas was going to change at our house this year and it went REALLY!!!!! well :) I will post my crafts next.  I remember that Skip's gift was at a friends house. I didnt want him to know so I sent him to on Christmas eve for trash bags to Walgreens I raced to my friends house to go get his Saw.  I threw it in Neal's car and raced back home Neal came running out to the car and said LEAVE it in there he is coming! no way he would see it.. JUST help me! He was laughing so hard I said forget it I'll do it myself.  I wiggled it out of the driver seat door just as I came to the back of the car Skip came around the cornor .... Neal still laughing and I know sprinting into the house carrying a huge saw, I threw the door open and rushed back to Dean's room... I threw that door open flug the saw box on the bed and started to run out.  Poor Suzanne sitting there trying to nurse was like What the heck just happened?  Neal now in the house crying from laughing so hard at me running with a huge box, says act natural! OH OK!   Never a dull moment here!

Christmas morning couldn't come quick enough... I am like one of the kids pacing around waiting for everyone to get here and get up! Finally the moment arrives and we line the boys up by age (like we do every year) and they RUN down the hallway to see how the living room transformed into a Christmas wonderland! Screams and Hollers fill the room!  I try to take it all in because I know one day they will grow up and the cheers of what Santa left will be over.  The day was filled with gifts, food , visit, memories and crying! YES crying! Dean snuck and got me and dad something at the mall while walking around with Uncle Neal and Aunt Suz.  He handed me this wrapped box and I already started to cry.  I opened it up and it was a Make a Wish foundation snow globe... Engraved inside it said Expect Miracles Every Day... It started playing A Wish Your Heart Makes...... I lost it! Everything stood still and I cried like a baby.  There stood my tween boy with tears in his eyes telling me how much he loved me and how he used his goats milk money and savings to buy Dad and I a gift... Dad got a pen from Things to Remember as well. Guess my brother wins again!  He helped make me cry.  Thank you Neal and Suzanne for always helping make Christmas special :) This one extra special, sharing Oliver's first Christmas with us and being wonderful Aunt and Uncle to our boys.

I would definitely say this was THE best Christmas EVER!  We made room for more at the table, more memories and more laughs! We cut back our spending on Christmas gifts this year but didn't cut back any of the memories made! 

I'm gonna make it this Christmas!

I was raised in a military family and we didn't have much money growing up.  Our Christmas's were far from grand and we hardly got what we "wanted" usely what we "needed".   When I got married and started having kids I knew I wanted my kids to have these GRAND Christmas's.  Every Christmas being one they would NEVER forget.  Well that hasn't happened! I cant even remember what the boys got last year.  Let alone expect them too! By no means are my boys spoiled, as a matter of fact they have had "friends" come over and say some hurtful things about how little they actually have and when the boys ask "why does this person have a playstation 3?" or "My friends mom bought them the new DS 3D before Christmas"  I joking tell them " That is because their parents obviously love them more than I Love you! Right!?"  sometimes I get the " RIGHT!" however most of the time they will reply with something like "MOM you love us!" "Your right I do!SO much that I don't have to buy you things for you to know that.. You obviously know it without a playstation 3 or a DS before Christmas"

   I buy my boys things only 3 times a year.  Back to School, Christmas and their Birthday's. I try with each to show them just how blessed they are with what they have.  Back to School we donated filled back packs to kiddos in need, at Christmas we volunteer at the Mission as well as "adopt" children and we try to be as involved as possible in different community events, and their Birthday's they select a charity and collect items for it instead of gifts from their FRIENDS (they still get things from us).   If during the year they have a want... They earn it! Yes the old fashion way.   Not the go wash my car and I will give you $10...HA! Go wash my car and you get a $1 way.  I see more and more kids these day with that sense of entitlement.  Just because your parents have money does NOT mean you are entitled to it.   My children's generation is the work less expect more generation.  I refuse to let that be my boys... See they are only boys for just a little while, they will be men most their lives.  Men that will be proving for themselves as well as their own families.  Men that I hope grow up to be like their dad in the sense that he would do anything to provide for his family.  He doesn't think anyone owes him anything.  He never asks for anything.  His mama raised him right, he cooks, he cleans, he provides and doesn't NORMALLY complain. 

  Back to how Christmas is changing here.   This year the boys and I talked how we wanted to blessed families this year.  They decided they wanted to "adopt" a child through Open Arm Ministry.  It's base is in Mexico and is a pretty cool ministry.  They each wanted to pick their own kid.  I explain to them that to each have their own child to adopt was a lot of money and that may mean they each will get less this year for themselves.  My oldest Dean was the first to say " I'm IN! That's OK..I don't need anything this year"  the other 2 were on board too... YIKES! how do I say No to that! We took home 4 kids Christmas stars (One for each of the older boys and one for the babies to share...Totally their idea) As soon as we left church they wanted to know everything... HOW OLD IS MY BOY? WHAT'S HIS NAME? WHAT GRADE IS HE IN?... Their Christmas stars are placed on their tiny tree in the dining room and checked almost daily.  They refer to the star like they are truly real people... HEY WHERE IS DANNY? MOM! Did Beau run off with Danny AGAIN?!?  Its sweet to see that they are not just a face on a star... They get it!  They really GET IT!  Those are real children with true needs! That otherwise wouldn't get anything without my precious boys.  I know Christmas not about the gifts the child will receive but Christ love my boys just showed to a prefect stranger.  How they unselfishly without a second thought give up something.  Just as Christ did for us.  I thought a lot about my boys and how I pray their hearts stay soft like that forever.  Its hard in this world where so much is put on what you have.  I could buy my boys so much more than what they have BUT why?? so they can want more?  So they can slowly become other children who want and want and want and put their own wants in front of others NEEDS.  Nah! I think I will pass. We are also helping out a local family in need and will be involved in a few other things.  Super excited to watch how they get filled with joy from sharing with others.

  Last night  I was sitting on the couch writing a note to Luca's teacher and Dean came up next to me and started to snuggle up to me.  Sounds sweet.. I was actually a bit annoyed I was trying to write a note in my prettiest handwriting and he kept bumping me.  I turned to him and said (Insert MOM voice..No not sweet mom.. you are driving me crazy voice)  "Dean! Seriously! Do you need something? Can you stop until I am done!? Cant you see I am writing something?"  Tears start to fill his eyes and he said " I am sorry Mom it can wait."  (still in MOM voice because  I was annoyed that now he was crying)  No Dean What? Why are you crying? What is SO important you need to cry over it?"   He pulled $5 from behind his back and "Here I want you to have this.  You work hard for us and you love us and I wanted to show you I love you too!"  (insert I am the worst mom of the year voice) "Dean  I am so sorry I have been so busy and still have so much to do that I didn't take the chance to just stop to show you love back...Truth is Dean I don't need the $5 to show that you love and appreciate me.. You just did by giving ME your time!"    YIKES did I mess that UP!  The note totally could of waited.  Lots of things I WANTED to get done can wait.  I needed to just stop and give my tween age boy that still wants to love on his mama my time and love back.

I decided this Christmas I wont go overboard on Christmas out of guilt that I don't give my boys STUFF all year long. They are obviously just fine without that STUFF.   I am going to give them my time..The time it takes me to MAKE them gifts, my time one on one doing thing they enjoy (that can be torture for me sometimes because I hate to sit still and they love to play Lego's and you have to sit still mom games) and time to listen to what they truly need.    Yes I have bought my boys some pretty cool gifts but instead of giving them EVERY one of the gifts I bought I am going to donate some and leave some in the attic for another time.  My boys showed me this past weekend that they don't need that stuff and they will be just fine without all that STUFF under the tree.   I have found some pretty neat fun ways to share my time with the boys and present it in gift form.   I am excited for the boys to open them up.  My joy cup overflows with knowing they won't mind one bit that this Christmas won't be like others.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! :)

Turkey's , Tutu's and 5k(ISH)

What a turn out at the Visalia Emergency Aid Thanksgivng race. I heard between walkers and runners they had close to 4,000 people! This was my first time attending the "Turkey Trot" I had watched before from the Kmart parking lot ( yes I was shopping on Thanksgiving morning) I was told people love to dress up for this race so I was IN!! Some girls were going as Christmas trees, my crew and I were Turkey's in Tutu's.. As I stood in the mirror Thanksgivng morning at 6am looking like a well feed turkey I started thinking maybe shopping would be more fun! Just not in this tutu! Then the sound of my boys all excited, getting ready, taking about what they should eat before their first 5k the thought of shopping quickly left (no need to panic it comes back!) I finished getting ready and went into the kitchen to see sleepy smiles talking about racing and their friends that were coming with. 7:00 came fast the boys and I loaded into Cara's car with her two and Petey.. Total count so far 2 Turkey's in tutu's, 4 boys ( Dean was with Brandon) and a dog! We pulled up, got out and I saw NO one but us dressed up! Oh well! I spent 2 days making tutu's, shirts and headbands we were rocking the turkey suit. We made our way through the crowd to meet the rest of our flock? Found Dean Found Brandon! We were ready to go... The boys were excited!! Go time was soon, we pinned the numbers on all the boys (total count now 2 Turkeys, 6 boys and 1 dog that doesn't like crowds) and gave them the talk about staying close and looking out for weirdos (not that their own moms wouldn't fall under the "weirdo" classification total count of "dressed up" people about 8 trees, 4 turkeys and 1 Santa out of 4,000 people!!) 8am an we were off! The boys were like rubber bands shooting off the start line.. Cara and I warned the boys to SLOW down they would never make through the 3.1 miles AND boy were we RIGHT I don't even think we made it a half mile before it started! I'm hot! I'm dehyradated! Are we there yet? How much longer?!? After a pep talk they would shoot off again and then it starts all over! You can do this.. Slow and steady boys! No your not going to die! No I can't carry you, No we aren't almost there, Yes you will make it to Thanskgivng dinner, Yes we aregoing to finish this today.. At times Cara and I laughing so hard looking at our FUBB group of 6 boys, 1 dog and 2 Turkey's knowing people must think we are crazy. New flash! We are crazy! We had this vision of what it would be like to trot with our gang but we both knew it would be nothing like that. As we were trucking through..We saw it!! OUR way out! A large group of people that had just finished a loop. We blended right in with them shaving a half a mile or so off the path.. The boys were a bit concerned that we were suppose to turn and not go straight with the others but like good moms we assured them that was the group of walkers blending in with the 5k runners like us! The boys got a second wind when Barrett found a dollar and we turned the corner onto Bridge street.. The crowd of people still cheering after 43 mins! Thank goodness! The boys were super excited to cross the finish line of their first 5k(ish) They were talking about their next races already, finish times and goals..Of course we were proud of our little guys! As I stood back taking in their joy and smiles.. I was reminded running isnt always about goal times, PR'ing and winning.. Its about the memories you make along the journey. Was it nuts? Yes! Was it something I would do all the time? NOPE! But did I love being with my boys? You bet! Did we get good laughs and great memories? For Sure!! Does Thanksgiving day Turkey Trot 2011 start a FUBB tradition of 5k'ing with our boys Thanksgivng morning? YEP and to me.. It will be a sad Thanksgiving when it's not a 5k(ish) because that means our boys are growing up!

Mom your eyebrows look....

I went to the mall to stag a couple of deals at Old Navy.. And that I did! After Old Navy Cara and I went to the eye brow threading place. My eyebrows were in bad shape! I laid there in the worst pain wondering why in the world I do this.. It hurts!! All done! I thought they looked great until Ethan runs the next morning give me a kiss goodbye starts to run away and studdenly turns back and say MOM what happened to your eye brows!?! They look ANGRY !! Nice! Thanks Ethan!!

Skinny girls must eat cupcakes in front of their kids.. If you need me I will be in the laundry room!

In my quest to be healthier I took all the food that calls me by name and hide them in the laundry room.. Out of sight out of mind. Right!?! Well for the most part. I was starting a load of clothes when I looked up in the cabinets and empty boxes were falling out of the cabinets.. Dang it I hate when my boys leave empty boxes in the cabinets. I grabbed the box and ONE just ONE cupcake fell out.. Hmm! It would be wrong to leave that cupcake in the cabinet alone with all those other healthy lunch snacks.. No telling what or who would eat up that cupcake. With no one watching I opened the cupcake and just as I started to take a bite Beau comes in

Beau- "mommy what doing?" ( are you kidding me? Its like he has a sixth sense)

I hide the cupcake (yes I hide the cupcake in hopes of not sharing it with my two year old)

Me-"Nothing Beau why?"

Beau- "mommy you got cupcake? Beau wants cupcake too"

Me- "nope no cupcake"

Beau- MOMMY YOU GOT CUPCAKE?!?

Me- NO BEAU now go find Wesley..

Beau- FESLEY MAMA CUPCAKE!!
What is this crap!?! Why doesnt someone warn you as a mom nothing is ever just yours! Not your coffee, food, or hell even your time in the shower. I know what a priest feels like now that I have kids the second I get in the shower someone comes in with something to confess, something ridicules to ask, or has someone they just have to tattle on! And there I am stuck in a box listening to all their crap and I dont even have chose.. Sure I could open the door an yell at them and scare them to death and possibly make them blind but that would just be one more thing I would have to deal with when I got out. Oh right cupcakes! Back to the cupcakes!

(Wesley of course comes running!)

Beau- FESLEY mama got cupcake ( what is this? Are you freaking kidding me?)

Wesley- ME ME!!

Me- Fine! Here you can have some.. But not the top
(I break off a tiny piece for them)

Beau- NO mama!! That! (pointing to the top)

Me- No Beau that's mama's part

Beau- No Beaus part!

Me- FINE...I didn't want the now sweaty cupcake anyways!

Beau- thank you mama!

Me- yeah!

I get it now... Skinny chicks must eat cupcakes in front of kids!

(side note when Ethan got home he said WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST CUPCAKE!?! I was going to eat it!! I yelled I FREAKEN WAS TO ETHAN! )

You want to be what?!.. A Runner!...YOU?! ....YES ME!...Ok Here it goes!

Where to start?! My life is crazy, busy, and some days down right NUTS! When my husband and I decided 11 years ago that I would be a stay at home mom, we never dreamed of ALL this.  We knew God had a plan for everyone and BOY did he have a plan for us.  Fast forward now 11 years later.  Here we are living God's plan for us with loving each other for 12 years, with 1 mortgage, 5 boys, and 1 full time job feeding and clothing 7 people.

Over the summer my neighbor and I started walking together 2 nights a week .   Our goal was to lose some baby weight (sadly her baby was just a few months old and mine well...umm.. was 14 months old) and vent about balancing our lives being loving moms, awesome wives, "there for you" kind of friends, all while maintaining a(some what) sane sense of who we are as women. Our pace was definitely nothing to write home about (18 minute pace) However before I knew it our walks began picking up speed, the venting was being replaced by Ipods (mostly to drown out the sounds of my grasping for air like I am being tortured in some mafia style hazing breathing)  I was quickly second guessing if  could keep up with my amazing at everything friend. Racing through my list of friends I could continue wogging with when Breanne got to fast for me!  However she walked when I walked and wogged (walk jogged) while I wogged.  Sticking with me every step.  We were averaging 2.3 miles each time and slowly but surely we started jogging and getting faster. Most nights my mind was racing with  fat girls don't run,what am I thinking, how do I get yourself into these situations, here you go again Nikki biting off more than you can chew! But like everything in my life i decided if you are going to do it Nikki your going to do it with your heart and not let your mind defeat you.   My world is actually full of runners, good runners! Like I am taking home medals runners! My brother Josh runs He does wicked stupid distants in crazy conditions, my dear friend Cara runs.  She is a lover of running not just for the medal but for the shear joy of running (yes I mean like a happy runner!), My Soul 2 Sole buddy Jamie runs, She is bank of running knowledge! (and not just because she is married to a Ultra runner) and my list can go on but I will save you the profiles.  In August I decided to share my secret with these amazing people.... I too wanted to be a runner.. In everyday America I am the average size girl but in the "runners" world I am a phat girl! 

I would text my times, distances, and ask tons of questions to my buddies about their passion,  still going two nights a week, still with Breanne (goal one check! I have lasted 2 months without her ditching me for a faster buddy, although Breanne is not the ditching type) and now struggling through now being able to run "A" as in just one! without stopping.  September came quickly and it was time to step it up a bit.  I shared with Cara that my goal was to RUN a 10k! She and Jamie quickly made me a plan (probably knowing I just meant change my mind) September 19th I started my training plan.  It would be just 2 miles (adding a mile every 2 weeks), 3 days a week, starting pace of 13:30 (wasn't there yet), and (2) 5k's before my first 10k Nov 11th with a goal time of 1hr 10mins ( yep that's 11:30 pace more than 2 mins per miles faster HA!)  My first 5k was Oct 1st, I didn't sleep the night before I had all my stuff laid out, drank lots of water, planned out what I would eat (even though I was so nervous I thought I would throw it up) and made my way to Culter Park with Breanne where we were meeting Cara and Jamie.  They would be running it with us.  I had no goal time..my goal was plain and simple to was just finish it.  (without dying).  As I looked around the park it was filled with itty bitty runners.  I felt a bit out of place.  I also started getting concerned as to where in the world would they have us be running.  I did all my"training' on the street, actually the same route every time I "wogged" ( first mistake) this path looked like all grass to me?!? I slightly freaked out inside.  As they called the runners to the start, we made our way towards the back. (again the goal was not to die whether by being trampled by real runners or because I just simply passed out.)  and we were off! Breanne, Cara, Jamie and I chugging through this course.  About a half a mile in I realized my first mistake, I was to routine in my runs, I knew by the markers where I was and not by how my body felt.. it was easy to talk myself into making it to the next check point while doing my routine.  We finally made it to mile 1 yes i said finally! This soggy wet grass was kicking this phat girls butt! Hitting mile 2 my niece, nephew and brother were there cheering me. A quick hug from my niece and we were going again.  Remember that hazing breathing!?! it was back, the thought of passing out seemed like it would be the sweet relief I needed to get out of the last mile.  As I looked around me I saw three fabulous women who knew I could do this, who believed in me when I wanted to quit, who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself and I am not just talking in the running world.  I had to push pass my thoughts of I cant and think I can!  Coming around the corner to see my husband and 5 boys standing here cheering me on what THE best.  My 4 oldest ran up to me holding my hand, jumping on Cara's back and cheering for us.  As I crossed the finish line at just over 35 mins.  So much was running through my mind.  It was hard to grasp just what I had done.. Hugs, cheers and excitement were every where.  I had a great group of supporters.  Who knew my struggles not just as a wogger but in my life.  We made our way home and my first stop was the shower.  I smelled like a teenage boys gym sock that had been sealed in a bag in a hot car!  Staying there replaying the whole morning I started crying, I did it! I had to walk some of it but I finished! I wasn't dead or dreaming! I had really finished! I started to think maybe Phat girls can run?!? 

The weeks went by I started seeing a trainer once a week while keeping to my 3 days a week of now jogging.  I soon was able to go 2 miles without stopping, once even doing 3 miles without stopping, and doing one of my weekly runs with my 8 and 6 year old on their bikes and my 11 year old going along with me.  My next 5k was Oct 29th the Spooky Sprint.  Cara and I bought these cute tutu and made shirts ( if you know me you know it wouldn't of been long before I was blinging out running..  ) Breanne, Cara and I crossed the finish line in 32:39.  but best of all we ran the whole way without stopping!  (goal 2 CHECK) It felt great! my legs felt like grandma's jello salad but I did it with the continue help and support for my fabulous husband, wonderful family an friends  The following day it hit me I had just 12 short days until my goal! That was to RUN a 10k! and keep the same pace for ANOTHER 3 MILES! Yeah Right!!  Breanne and I stuck to the plan, I pushed through it (mostly because I watched how easy these runs looked for her and I was not going to slow her down anymore) I did 5 miles just one time the week before my 10k and you know what I am here to write about... When did this phat girl that sweated like a glass of ice tea in the July sun while walking, become the same sweaty mess but making it 5 miles?!?  One more "short" run (4miles) and one training session was between me and the 10k... Having never gone farther than 5 miles 6 miles seemed crazy at this point BUT I wasn't nervous this time...(as a matter of fact I signed up for my first half just days before my 10k... I told you when I do something I do it whole heartedly!) The distance didn't scare me anymore, it was wanting to do those miles well.  I had to remind myself that anytime i finished in was better than no time at all.  Even if I couldn't make my goal this time I would finish it.  Breanne helped bling us out for the Porterville Veterans Day 10k 11-11-11...Very fitting race considering we all love the Vet's in our lives and we were moms to all boys (9 boys total)..... Cara told me in all my years of running I have only made shirts or "dressed up" a handful of times and in 3 runs with you we have dressed up two of them HA) The backs of our shirts read "Freedom isn't Free" (we also sported red and white striped arm sleeves with blue flowers Breanne made with a rhinestone in the middle of the  flowers cute right?!?) It was freezing before the race started, sprinkling on and off soon that become they best running conditions...6:55 came and they called us to the starting line  (this time we were in the middle!) all 5 and 10k runners lined up.   They explained the course one more time. I was super excited because it was all on the street and it looked fairly easy.   7am the gun sound ring and we were off down main street.  As the 5k runners started towards their first turn and I felt proud that I was in the 10k group... Until I looked up and saw that street was going up! WHAT a incline! IN PORTERVILLE!?  Guess I had a idea of what Porterville was like and it surely didn't include the street going up! My gps stopped working at mile.28 and I was lost without, (still hadn't change that first mistake of running the same routine and knowing markers and not how my body feels) Coming around our first turn I looked down the street and saw it going up AGAIN! Who know Porterville went up so much?! I thought oh no! this is nuts! If someone offered me a ride at that point I might of kissed them and jumped in!  I started to slow down, I was feeling defeated.  My slow run become a walk, Breanne and Cara slowed down with me and at that very second  my mind was racing with oh NO NO NO! I cant do this! I didn't sign up for up! I signed up for straight down main street run...Just then Cara's mom sent her a text that said RUN NIKKI RUN! She was right i should be running.. So I ran again, pushing through the pain, sweat and thoughts of phat girls shouldn't be running! mile 3 came and went and soon I started to feel OK!  I could do this! The saying if you can run 3 you can run 6 seemed to make sense. Its like a numb feeling, it didn't hurt anymore, a very forest gump feeling, like I could finish the next 3 miles and well.  I had two of the best girls by my side, so many supporters and I was strong enough to do this.  I drowned myself in music and at one point looking up at Breanne in front of me reading the back of her shirt for the 100th time and it came to be that freedom isn't free. Not the freedom we have as Americans or in our health... Its a lotof hard work but the ultimate goal is worth it.  The last mile was hard, but at that point how could I stop and walk?!?  I had already made it this far... The finish line was in sight, I felt a bit sad because my I could of swore that clock said 1:19mins but as we got closer and I could see better I saw it actually said 1:04.. We crossed the finish line in 1hr 4 mins and 49 seconds! Almost 5 mins faster than my goal!  I HAD DID IT!! PHAT GIRLS CAN RUN TOO!

This is my story as a 30 year old , wife, mom to 5,  running virgin! My goal to inspire others to Walk, Jog, Run, to have balance with meeting that goal while maintaining a house a home, and to get all the Phat girls who think they cant run to get out there prove themselves wrong. 

This my journey RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!